Lack of physical relaxation: When the body doesn't want to let go at night
Introduction – Wired despite exhaustion
There are nights when the mind is actually clear. No circling thoughts, no acute worries. And yet, the longed-for sleep does not come. In these cases, the reason is not in the mind, but in the body: It feels as if it is under electric current. Shoulders are hunched, jaw is clenched, legs are restless, and breathing is shallow.
Many people underestimate that sleep is not just a matter of the mind. If the body remains internally tense, it constantly sends alarm signals to the brain. This muscular and nervous tension not only prevents falling asleep, but also repeatedly wakes us up in the middle of the night. To truly sleep deeply and restoratively, the body must receive the signal that it is safe and allowed to let go.
Causes: Why physical tension takes its toll at night
Our body is a master at storing stress. What we experience during the day – be it a tense posture in front of the screen, hurried breathing under time pressure, or emotional stress – is physically stored in our muscles and nervous system.
The fight-or-flight mode (sympathetic nervous system)
Our autonomic nervous system consists of two main players: The sympathetic nervous system (the "accelerator," responsible for activity and stress) and the parasympathetic nervous system (the "brake," responsible for rest and digestion). When we are stressed during the day, the sympathetic nervous system is dominant. This leads to shallow chest breathing, increased blood pressure, and a baseline tension in the muscles – the body is ready to fight or flee.
If we go to bed in the evening without actively releasing this tension, the body remains in an alert state. Tense muscles signal to the brain: "The danger is not over yet, stay vigilant!" In this state, deep sleep is biologically impossible.
The role of breathing
An often overlooked factor in sleep problems is breathing. Shallow, rapid breathing in the upper chest keeps the body in stress mode. It prevents the activation of the vagus nerve, which acts as the main nerve of the parasympathetic nervous system and would give the body the much-needed signal for relaxation.
Expert knowledge: How relaxation promotes deep sleep
Scientific studies impressively demonstrate the direct connection between conscious physical relaxation and sleep quality. Research often focuses on Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) according to Jacobson.
With PMR, individual muscle groups are consciously tensed strongly one after another and then abruptly relaxed. This contrast trains body awareness and forces the muscles to release chronic tension. A systematic literature review (Yousefi & Taraghi, 2017) shows that PMR not only significantly reduces physiological arousal (physical excitement), but also massively improves self-reported sleep quality [1].
Even more fascinating: Clinical studies have shown that regular physical relaxation exercises like PMR can measurably increase the proportion of "slow-wave sleep" (deep sleep) during the night [2]. Deep sleep is the phase in which the most important physical regeneration takes place, the immune system is strengthened, and cells are repaired. A relaxed body therefore not only falls asleep faster, but also sleeps deeper and healthier.
Finding physical relaxation: 4 exercises for the evening
To shed the stubborn body tension of the day, good intentions are not enough. The body needs active, physical signals to switch on the parasympathetic nervous system.
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Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) in bed: Lie on your back. Now tense the muscles of your feet firmly for 5-7 seconds, then abruptly release and feel the relaxation for 20 seconds. Go through your whole body this way: calves, thighs, glutes, abdomen, hands, arms, shoulders, and finally the face. This method is scientifically recognized and helps the body release residual tension [1, 2].
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Diaphragmatic breathing (belly breathing): Place one hand on your abdomen. Inhale deeply through your nose so that only the hand on your abdomen rises (your chest remains still). Exhale slowly through your mouth. This deep abdominal breathing directly stimulates the vagus nerve, lowers the heart rate, and takes the body out of fight-or-flight mode.
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The temperature trick (warm bath): A warm bath 1-2 hours before bedtime not only relaxes the muscles. The actual sleep-promoting effect occurs afterward: When you get out of the warm water, your core body temperature rapidly drops. This drop in temperature mimics the body's natural rhythm and signals strong drowsiness to the brain.
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Gentle stretching (Yin Yoga): Five minutes of gentle, held stretching (without exertion or pain) before bed helps release the stiff fascia and shortened muscles from the day (e.g., from prolonged sitting). Especially exercises like "Child's Pose" (Balasana) have a strong calming effect on the nervous system.
Conclusion – Allowing the body to let go
A tense body is like a car driving with the handbrake on: It costs an enormous amount of energy and cannot come to rest. If you cannot sleep at night because your body is under tension, you should stop trying to force sleep. Instead, the focus should be on physical relaxation. Whether through deep breathing, conscious muscle relaxation, or a warm bath – as soon as the body receives the signal that it is safe, sleep often follows all on its own.
Support through Deep Pressure Stimulation
Sometimes, despite breathing exercises, the body finds it difficult to release baseline tension. In these cases, the application of gentle, deep pressure (Deep Pressure Stimulation) has proven effective. A weighted blanket uses exactly this principle: Its evenly distributed weight acts like a firm, calming hug on the body. This physical pressure stimulates the receptors in the skin, promotes the release of serotonin and melatonin, and signals profound safety to the nervous system on a purely physical level. For muscles that do not want to let go, this external support is often the key to nocturnal relaxation.
Frequently Asked Questions about physical relaxation (FAQ)
Why am I so tense in the evening, even though I'm tired?
When we are stressed during the day, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. These prepare the muscles for fight or flight. Without conscious release (e.g., through sports or relaxation exercises), this basic tension remains stored in the tissue – even if the mind has long been tired.
What is Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR)?
PMR according to Jacobson involves systematically tensing individual muscle groups strongly for a few seconds and then abruptly relaxing them. The strong contrast helps the body to perceive and release chronic tension.
How does breathing help with falling asleep?
Shallow chest breathing signals stress to the brain. Deep abdominal breathing (diaphragmatic breathing), on the other hand, stimulates the vagus nerve. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system (the rest-and-digest nerve), which lowers heart rate and blood pressure and prepares the body for sleep.
Can exercise in the evening help with falling asleep?
It depends on the intensity. A light walk or gentle yoga promotes relaxation. However, intense cardio or heavy strength training right before bed can boost circulation and body temperature, making it harder to fall asleep.
–> Read more: Stopping nightly circling thoughts: Causes & Tips | MONDSTEIN
–> Read more: Stress and an active nervous system – why stress keeps us awake at night | MONDSTEIN
–> Read more: Why we wake up at night – the 7 most common reasons for sleep interruptions | MONDSTEIN
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Sources
[1] Yousefi, S., & Taraghi, Z. (2017). Progressive muscle relaxation and sleep quality: A literature review. Pharmacophore. https://pharmacophorejournal.com/article/progressive-muscle-relaxation-and-sleep-quality-a-literature-review
[2] Li, Y. et al. (2022). Progressive muscle relaxation increases slow-wave sleep during a daytime nap. Journal of Sleep Research. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9786620/
[3] Harvard Health Publishing (2023). Try this: Progressive muscle relaxation for sleep. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging-and-longevity/try-this-progressive-muscle-relaxation-for-sleep